Thursday, April 24, 2008
Oh So Tired
I know, I have been so absent lately. It’s not for lack of wanting to write, trust me. There are a bajillion thoughts and feelings coursing through my pea brain these days as I wrap up my tour of pregnancy duty. I mean just my crazy-ass dreams alone would have me coming up with volumes of raw and freaky Freudian material to analyze. But the tiredness. Oh, the tiredness. It’s all I can do to simply get my huge ass in the shower some days.
As Jen has warned me in the past, the ninth month is ass. And she was right. I recently read Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy (my new personal hero after I saw her rip that doctor a new bunghole on Larry King about the childhood vaccine issue), and she mentions in the book something that I have tried but failed to articulate in my whining about the tiredness of pregnancy: “Imagine staying up all night, then running a marathon, then doing three hundred loads of laundry and raking leaves off a football field all in one day. How tired would you be?” That is exactly how I feel, every day. Sometimes more than others.
I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I don’t sleep more than two hours at a time at night because I either have to get up and pee three times or more (sometimes within a half-hour of the last time!) or have to roll over and change positions to relieve the pain in my hips – an acrobatic feat that is at once time-consuming and uncomfortable to accomplish because so much of my personal real estate is occupied by Baby.
Or if it is just the exhaustion brought on by lugging an extra 45 pounds around throughout the day. That is some serious weight, people! And by the end of the day, it feels more like 100 pounds!
I remember less than a year ago when we were in Italy and schlepping luggage around from one town to the next. We purposely packed very light, but just getting that little carry-on suitcase and my tote bag from train to taxi to hotel or whatever was SUPER exhausting. And that thing was on wheels! And that was after having had blissful nights of pure, uninterrupted sleep! And I could set those things down and rest! You can never set down a big giant baby surrounded by a crapload of amniotic fluid! You’re stuck with it until he decides to bust out!
And let’s talk about what all that tiredness does to the ol’ noggin. You guys, it’s embarrassing. I can’t even watch an episode of Law & Order anymore without asking Derek dumb questions every 10 minutes. “Wait… why are they at that guy’s house now? I thought the other guy was the one where they found you know, the forensics and stuff and the note with the thing on it…. Wha??? And who is this guy again?” I can’t keep the names of the characters straight or remember what evidence was found in the last scene that led to this scene. I might as well have watched the last scene last year for my amount of comprehension. And watching TV is like, one of the few things I can do well anymore these days besides putting away Trader Joe’s ice cream sandwiches.
The other day on 30 Rock, they were all enraptured with this fictional reality show called MILF Island. I swear if that show existed, I would be watching it right now. It sounds like exactly the level of intelligence I would be able to keep up with.
The good news is, my Obsessive Pregnant Brain seems to have gone away for now. There is just not enough brain juice to obsess on anything or even focus on a semi-intelligent TV show, and so instead I find myself thinking constantly about how soon it will be that I get to meet the little guy living inside me. That thought is distracting enough. I’m just so darn excited. No, excited doesn’t really cover it. Anxious doesn’t really do it either. I’m so looking forward to getting to know him and take care of him that sometimes I just can’t think about anything else. There are so many things I want to tell him, so many miraculous things about being pregnant with him that I want to share, so many wonderful moments that I want to tell him about his family and his aunties and uncles who are all excited to meet him too.
But I’m just too tired and need to go lie down.