Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Things I Never Imagined I Would Hear Myself Say...

...until I became a mother: 

1. “No honey, we don’t want your foot in the poop.”

2. “Oh my god, is it 9:30 already?  Cripes, I have to go to bed.”

3. “Okay, go ahead and give your junk a good grab before I put your diaper back on.”

4. “I took a shower today AND bought groceries.  By God, I am freaking WONDER WOMAN!”

5. “Honey, please let go of Mommy’s skin.  She needs it on her face.”

6. “Okay!  Let’s go drop off the poop in the toilet!”

7. “Oh man!  I got poop in my hair!”

8. “Another poop?  It’s only 10 a.m.!”

 

Things I never imagined I would hear myself say in the last eight years:

“Baby, take a good look at that man on the TV.  Listen to how smart and confident and wonderful he is.  He is our President now.  You're an American, honey.  Be so proud."

1 comment:

Jen said...

I know this hasn't been an issue for you, but I never thought I'd say, "oh god, did he pee on your face again?" or "dude, please wash the pee out of the curtains".