Okay guys. My boredom was reaching critical levels. Not so surprising, being a stay-at-home mom. It is a very noble pursuit and not an easy job by any stretch, but srsly, has to be the most. Boring. Job. EVAR. There are so many surprises in any given day as far as your little one changing and developing and growing. But at the same time, there are no surprises in any given day. You get up early, go hiking, prepare, administer and clean up after three meals, change a bunch of diapers, vacuum up dog hair, unload the dishwasher, rinse and repeat the next day. There’s just not much room for variables, and certainly no real brain activity. When you are used to a much faster daily pace, the lack of stimulation can be jarring. And the monotony of it was really starting to threaten my sanity.
Until today. Which shall henceforth be known as Bat Day.
Daddy is home today, so I left the wee one in his charge while I trotted off to Hollywood to meet up with Shannon for a hike. I had always wanted to do that bitchin’ Hollywood sign hike, so that is what we did. Not such a great day for views as it was pretty overcast, but the actual space really is special and kinda magical, and it was nice just to do it and get caught up with Shannon.
On the way up the hill, she motions to the Bat Cave off in the distance. “The Bat Cave?” I ask, “like from the TV show?” Yes, THE Bat Cave. She said she could show it to me if I want, it was just a short drive from there. Of course I agreed. If you grew up in the 70s, you loved that show too, right? We headed back down and drove over to the site, parked and walked up.
There was the mouth of the cave in all its ominous glory, a tunnel actually. But this is not how it looked on TV. There were a couple of crappy tables set up with a bunch of crap sitting on them. Nearby sat a handmade sign that said “GARAGE SALE – BAT CAVE.” There were a couple of little cameras set up. Oh neat, somebody’s doing a student film, I thought. That’s cute.
Then I heard the voice. That voice. If you watch Family Guy, you know that voice well. I looked at the guy standing behind the shitty garage sale table from whence the voice came, and in an instant knew that this was a cosmic moment whose magnitude would not likely be realized until much later. I turned to Shannon. “Holy shit, dude. That’s Adam West. Standing there. At the mouth of the friggin’ Bat Cave.” We stood there in giggly silence for a minute, looking at each other, looking at him. Was this really happening? Did we stumble on some peyote spores in the air and were having like a spiritual bat-hallucination of some kind? It was all too enormous to contemplate. Like visiting Buckingham Palace and bumping into Prince Charles. WTF? You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack. And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. You may find yourself at the Bat Cave standing next to Bat Man. And you may say to yourself, Well, how did I get here?
Shannon asked one of the guys nearby if we could walk into the tunnel without getting in the way of their shot. The guy said they were finished shooting, so we walked toward the tunnel.
Mr. West was looking at us. Now, for having lived here my whole life, I haven’t had that many celebrity encounters, and the ones I have had, I really didn’t want to be that douche who runs up and is all like “Hey man, I really love your work, is Brad Pitt really cool to work with?” blah blah blah. But it was SO hard not to run up to him and throw my arms around his neck and tell him how much I love him on Family Guy. How much I loved him as Bat Man. Just how generally friggin’ AWESOME he is.
And just then, in that sweet, half-whispery, semi-unhinged Adam West voice of his, he asked us, “Can I interest you in a little vial of bat dirt?” Shannon and I were giddy. Are you kidding me?
We stood at the garage sale table and chatted with him about the various junk items that were present. Shannon told him she hikes there all the time, "But you're never here!" she says. She asked about the little black box with the big red button on it. “Is this how you got in and out of the Bat Cave?” He smiled and replied, “No, this is the ejector button I used to eject King Tut from the Batmobile.” I noted a box of used socks on the table. “Are these genuine Bat Socks?” I asked. “I wasn’t aware that Batman wore Hanes. That’s nice to know.” He chuckled.
Holy shit. We were chit-chatting with Batman about Bat Junk at the mouth of the Bat Cave. How did I go from flat-lining valley mommy to this moment? It's as if the House Maven gods took pity on my sorry domestic ass and threw me a friggin' bone.
We ambled along into the tunnel for a look around. I asked Shannon if I should go ahead and gush and tell Mr. West that he is my favorite part of Family Guy. She said yes, I should. So we headed back out to do just that, but he was gone. Vanished. Into thin air. We hadn’t even had the presence of mind to take a picture of him.
But the memory of my Bat Day, well, I will have that forever. It reminded me that there are still fun surprises in life, and for that, I need to remember to be grateful.
We got back to the car and I picked up the phone to call Derek. “Dude. You are not gonna believe what just happened. Are you ready to be SOOOOOO super jealous?.......”