Monday, July 11, 2016

Sad Mama

I can’t shake the sadness today.  It feels like the world has gone crazy.

There is a line George Clooney says toward the beginning of the movie The Descendants.  Something about how just because they live in their Hawaiian paradise doesn’t make them immune to tragedy.  There is still cancer, bad things still happen.  That’s how I feel about living in the Happiest City in America today.  We are not immune here. 

A week ago, my Trader Joe’s was robbed at gunpoint.  This spineless asshole might as well have held a gun to my best friend and demanded money.  I shop there every week.  I actually enjoy the process of procuring nourishment for my family there because it is such a positive place.  If I walk in feeling a little tired or blue, I always walk out with a smile and a better outlook on my day.  Even if I've never met the cashier before, he or she is like a buddy.  I feel safe there.

And some shithead came in with his shithead gun like such a BIG MAN and made the world a much scarier and meaner place for the person he robbed and the people who work there.  To date he is still at large.  I feel outrage.  I feel helpless.  I want to kick the crap out of the person who did this and then punch him in the neck.  Is this my higher self talking?  Probably not, but it’s how I feel.  How dare he violate MY Trader Joe’s?

Then the punch to the gut yesterday that sent me to bed for the rest of the day.  A little three-year-old girl drowned in the Elks pool on Friday while there for a birthday party.  Same pool the boys and I  have frequented countless times with friends to cool off, socialize, play on the swingset, etc.  That pool was my entrĂ©e into San Luis Obispo life and embracing culture when we first moved here three years ago.  Like a symbol of camaraderie and childhood joy.  And then some poor parent I have probably rubbed elbows with in the Trader Joe's frozen food aisle had to leave that party without their baby.  Their life will never be the same.  A huge void has been created that can never be filled.

Meanwhile, throughout other parts of the country, people are reeling from the aftershock of racially-motivated shootings and violence.  What is going on?  Why is it so hard for us to love each other?  Why are people still fighting for the right to be able to go out and kill other people?  Aren’t we past this yet?


Meanwhile, McLean has lost his two front teeth.  Minecraft is being played at obsessive levels.  Blues games are going on down the street.  Life is going on.  But still my sadness for my fellow man remains.